LOS ANGELES

Historical Monument 157:



After meeting up with Onyx's mama for some delicious food and a romp at the craft store, we braved the veritable labyrinth of Los Angeles monday-night traffic to our show at Historical Monument 157. Located in a seemingly drab stripmall spangled block near Lincoln Park-- this towering Victorian manor is an immaculate gem that may be visible only to those who already know it exists. Simply put, Historical Monument 157 is a portal into a world constructed entirely of pure magic. The interior is awash with bold colors, ornate friezes, and lush fabrics that maintained a subtle glow in the dim, ambient lamplight. Residents of HM157 were impeccably dressed in an array of finery, and their dispositions echoed their shimmery attire. The plunking, howling sounds of prewar blues, folk, and early jazz effected a timelessness that suited the spirit of the evening's performances perfectly. Outside, an expansive backyard patio (be-speckled in white faerie lights) is lined in glamorous Airstream trailers. Dreamy! I was, obviously, quite taken with this house; this universe-within-a-building-within-a-city.

The evening began with the wedded belly-singing-love-howlers, Homesick Elephant. These sweethearts made the walls vibrate with their ecstatic harmonies and sweet-syrupy-drizzling songs. We played to a full house, and our stomping seemed to make the house shiver. I felt our voices tangle in the center of the room as we sang--jangling up the staircase and calling spirits from the corridors. Continuing on the theme of exorcism-- Feather Beard was a tumultuous, if not climactic, finale to the evening. The patinaed voice told stories in a warm male vibrato that culled the spirits of the underworld from their loamy rest, and gracefully strung together images of macabre fantasy and hilarity. The evening became increasingly absurd,(perhaps this corresponds directly to the intake of "magic water" by the band members) culminating in a bathtub ghost-ballad sing-along which was perhaps the crowning moment of the evening. Abba-Surd!


Thank you, Historical Monument 157!

DAVIS

Beautiful Silverware wall-sculpture by our hostess, Elise.

Just a short drive away and we were on the UC Davis campus, playing on the college station, KDVS. We trekked over to the Davis Co-op for some serious snackage and thee most delectable olive bar ever known! Good gracious! Also, hosted by the dreamiest cheese counter overlord!
The show was at the Greenhouse, where our friend Elise lives. She set up the most beautiful show for us in her living room, complete with a cheese platter, spice cake, and hot cocoa for all. Take that Julia Child!

Maggie Morris wooed first, in the presence of her very own mother! There were TWO parents at this show--- Ricky Berger’s Pops was present as well. I LOVE meeting people’s parents. It is a window both into their heritage, and into their future (ie. You are probs going to get that male pattern baldness; or inherit that seriously cute wrinkle on your forehead). Also, parents that come to their kid’s shows at weird college houses in weird college towns totally deserve major Brownie points. Kudos! Maggie socked it to us with some skillfully crafted country-pop jams, ala Loretta Lynn meets Jenny Lewis. Her last song, “I want all your lovin’ my way” was maybe the crown jewel of the set, with its classic brassy country lady swagger. Loved it!

Ricky Berger had Jordan wrapped around her finger from the get go. She has the perfect Steamy-Jazz-Songstress dig, singing about permanent valentines, and pining, and being quirky. Hushed vocals held the audience under her spell. It was at this point that I realized the ultimate house-show vibe had been cultivated. Thanks to Elise, and these amazing performers + a super-stoked and attentive audience we were in the midst of a most amazing evening soundscape showspace. By the time Polka Dot Dot Dot took the stage, people were already in the throes of swoon-stricken lovefest and had more than enough to offer us in the way of positive vibe-age. For the first time this tour I felt overcome by the pure love emanating from each person, and I tucked it in my gullet to regurgitate the sentiment in the form of harmonious vocalizing. Here’s to positive equanimity in audience-performer interactions! Yes!

We spent the evening with our buddies, Victor and Dusty, in their Super-Fabulous pony/unicorn/magical equine future palace/apartment in Davis. We had an ultimate sleepover in a comfy, warm room and woke up feeling chipper. After this evening the only conclusion I can reach is: Davis babes RULE!

SACRAMENTO

We spent a glorious Zillionmillion hours driving through the majestic mountains of Northern California on Highway 299 toward Sacramento. The heavy gray sky-blankets of the Northwest gave way to gentle sunlight and sweet-smelling breezes. Awww, Cali! 
 We stopped at a campsite for a good stretch-

-

"We pwn these Mountain Peaks!"

We rolled into the city of Sacramento and quickly found The Hub, a darling all-ages venue that is just the right size. We huddled in and sat on our coats to guard ourselves from the chilly concrete floor. A healthy crowd of ruh-dic-u-lussly babely people arrived to quietly execute a subtle shimmy-shake to the apparent Crystal-Amulet of Davis, DJ Poppet. Molly of DJ Poppet donned extraordinarily dazzling futuristic sparkle-garb and somehow emerged from a space/time portal with the most excellent face make-up known to humankind (tiny colorful vertical lines all over her cheekbones and browline). While prancing about the stage, DJ Poppet charmed us with poignant lyrics and super-powered exuberance! DJ Poppet's voice was like a tiny laser ray that I absorbed willingly into my solar plexus, and it grew there into a dry and sparkling warmth.

Matt of Cosy Cullens charmed us with some wicked guitar picking in thee olden styles of country yore. He crooned his way right into my country gal heart. He also had pretty excellent facial hair. This tour has been all about BEARDS! Yes, Beards! Science Beards in particular. Jordan has been crocheting Science Beards out of lovely thick, soft yarns and peddling them from the merch table. People are crazy for them! Young women are cavorting about the streets with giant brown beards strewn about their faces. And they look hawt! They are good for riding your bicycle, to keep the chin warm. And if you already have a beard they can be worn as beard cozies. Brilliant! Jordan says it is part of embracing his ‘Bearitage’—his Bear Heritage. We are fans of burly, furry babes. We are fans of babes* in general.

Speaking of babes. We stayed at our buddy, Henaro’s house, with his equally babely cat, and friends Adam and Laurel. After bro-ing down while stuffing and folding Syzygy albums, we stayed up a while giggling over the cat.

We woke in the morning and had breakfast at Waffle Square. Which-- aside from having duh-licious Pecan Waffles and the most adorable senior citizens in the world—also was home to a mustache vending machine. So much facial hair! I am in hunky burly heaven.

* babes (bay-buh-zuhz): extraordinarily brilliant, gifted, light-giving persons embodying and/or generating all the beauty in the universe.

ARCATA

We arrived to the Greenhouse--a most elegant and charming home in downtown Arcata—walked right through the front door, and were greeted.
“Welcome Home” a voice chimed, “Dinner's ready on the stove!”
Oh, my. Did you ever know such hospitality away from home?! We basically spent the next 12 hours swooning over every member of the household and the entire house collectively. Swoonstation, USA!

I had been looking forward to this show for a few days, not just because of the magnanimous Greenhouse, but also because of this rad Twilight-themed punk band from Phoenix, AZ called The Cullens. It features members from another genius, god-given musical project called Father's Day.



The Cullens SLAYED; perhaps tearing a hole in the fabric of the Arcatan show-goers' delicately maintained high. I don't know anything about the Twilight series, but I think that it may have been created for the sole purpose of bringing this band into being. Seriously. The Little Still Isn't Big Enough, a duo of charmers from Arcata, were warbly and sad and sweet and also wore some pretty awesome lace and knitwear.

We played some of our songs to an audience that included Onyx's Auntie Colleen and one of my childhood friends. The room was packed with uh-dorable wide-eyed cuties with their legs criss-cross applesauce. (The Greenhouse has a remarkably soft carpet floor).

The penultimate moment of the evening was a giant snuggle pile that descended into perfect slumber party form-- we had a battle of puns on the word 'gag'*, Ryan did some killer celebrity impressions, we all tentatively tried some of Gina's homemade hippie deoderant, there was a pillow fight, and SOMEONE was snoring boisteriously all night. ULTIMATE SLUMBER PARTY!

The next day we found a rad store, Shipwreck, in Eureka. We walked in and all instantly fell in love. SO many amazing handmade items, including a felted crown of leaves, beautiful oilcloth wallets, and the most elegant knitted and crocheted scarves. Oodelolly! Onyx got a yellow sweater to match the sunshine yellow sweaters me, Gina, and Jordan have been rocking for the last few days. Now we look like a family band, and our collective ensemble is embodying our hokey tendencies more than ever.

*
What is the jokiest capital of the world?
Gaghdad

Who is the grossest feminist commentator?
Camille Gaglia

Who are the dirtiest of all the traveling kids?
Gagamuffins and Gagabonds

all jokes dedicated to the Cullens, the best gag-makers of the southwest

CORVALLIS

(Car Barre, our Tour Gymnastiques)

Me and Jordan are also working on our own new hybrid of jumping jacks and handclap games for the ultimate tour physique-saver.

We found ourselves in the midst of coffeebustle and adorable collegegoers at The Beanery in Corvallis, Oregon. Thank you to Shea, for the most Uh-May-Zing show flyer that features Mer-Rhino*, Mer-Unicorn, Narwhal, and icecream cones. Yes! Brian Smith played some crooning nature-themed songscapes with Paul for a deelightful evening of moooosic.

(they left the hats out in the basement!)

We got to stay with our friend Maya at an amazing hippie house in Eugene, where we spent some time in a dry sauna, with some candles and Eucalyptus essential oil. O! Hippie magic, how we heart thee! After perspiring the majority of three days of water intake, we rinsed off in the gentle Oregon rain. Gina got her mouth licked by the dog in her sleep. Jordan slept under the talisman of Julia Roberts' visage.

(*mer= of the sea; as in Mermaid or Mermarilyn Manson)

Thanks, Maya!

PORTLAND

Ah, Portland.
How many cuties does it take to get to the heart of PDDD?
...

Good gracious!
RonToms was a packed-in night with cuties bunched together like leaves of cabbage! So good! Church won our hearts, yet again, with their outrageously elating epic jams to the stylish visuals of the 1930s German silent film, Pandora's Box. Also, Rey Villalobos played his elegant music with such warmth that it was hard to tell whether his vocal chords or the glowing hearth behind him was heating the room.

We stayed with the Golden Swan of Portland, newly arrived Danielle Warhola! Good Gracious did we have fun in a whimsy-soaked if not chilly attic. Much phot0-taking ensued.


Portland! XOXOXO! Love, PDDD

Tacoma

TACOMA! How we love theee.

We jammed out with the Sugar Beats, $2000 Puma, and Church at my new favorite kitsch-spangled-tea-pot-shaped dusty-glam bar in Tacoma. Highlights of the evening included, but were not limited to:

Table Tetris and Electronic Dart Board (both non-functional)
Black light painting of a headhunter
tags that said "Smoke Meth"
3-D murals of Tropical Animals
Lamps made of stuffed animals and hamburgers
A sign, faded, scrawled in Permenant marker that read, "REMEMBER PEARL HARBOR!"



Also, Jordan fell in love with Kale earlier that day.